


Love Lives

by ghost_in_love



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, baz is hopeless, pinning, set in their 5th year, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 07:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15881169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghost_in_love/pseuds/ghost_in_love
Summary: Baz, sweetie, you're lying to yourself.





	Love Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please drop a comment or a kudo if you enjoyed! <3 ily

**B A Z**

It’s almost two am, and I’m just making my way back from the catacombs. Snow has been on my mind all day, and I can’t seem to shake him.

It’s not even how I want to kill him. No, not anymore. It’s about how soft his hair looks, and how I want to run my fingers through it, or how his freckles look like constellations. How his eyes always hold a hot fire and –

Wait. Fuck. I’m thinking about him again. I smack myself on the head and trudge up the stairs to our room.

He’s sleeping, but restless as always. I wish I could pet his hair and whisper sweet nothings to him.

What would he think of me then? He’d hit me for sure, anathema or not.

I pat my cheeks and tear my eyes away from his sleeping form. I go to the bathroom and change into pyjamas. I crawl into the covers, shivering slightly. Snow’s always leaving the damn window open. I turn to face him.

He sleeps shirtless, and the covers are bunched up near his feet. Snow should be illegal. If he were in jail, I would never see him again (a con), but I would be rid of him (pro?).  

The next morning, Snow is banging around per usual.

“Would you mind? I’m trying to sleep here!” He grunts, but ignores me. He slams the door shut and the world is quiet for a minute. I sigh.

Slowly, I pull myself out of bed and trudge to the bathroom. The mess hall is loud as usual, and I give a silent nod to Dev and Niall.

I glare across the room at Snow, but of course he is busy stuffing his face with those scones. I can’t believe he’s paying more attention to his scones than me. My realization that I just thought that sinks in and I return to my own plate, in a more sour mood than before.

The day drags on, and I didn’t even play as well today. I was ready to make a goal, but I turned my head ever so slightly and saw Snow in the crowd.

He almost looked like he could have been cheering me – the whistle blows. I’m on my back, looking at the sky as it spins.

“Pitch!” the coach yells, jogging towards me. “You okay? What happened there?”

“Just preoccupied, Sir,” I grit out, trying to make Snow out in the crowd. He isn’t there. The coach nods and we resume play.

Snow will be the death of me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to stop it. I want to end him, and then myself.

Dinner is uneventful as usual, but instead Snow is glaring my way. I poke at my mashed potatoes. I can’t give him the satisfaction. Or myself for that matter. As the night goes on, I can feel his smoke from here. I roll my eyes.  _No need to get yourself so worked up over me._  I glance up and make brief eye contact with him. Snow slowly fizzles out, and turns to Bunce to talk about something completely moronic, I’m sure. I hide a smile.

There’s no need for me to go to the Catacombs tonight, but I do anyway. I’m giddy all of a sudden, and I think that maybe Snow isn’t so bad.

Of course, when I enter our room, the window is open wide, and a chill breeze enters the room. Damn him. He’s that bad.

The whole of fifth year was tortuorous. He invaded my space in my brain and in the real world.

But, as the school term neared its end, I realize that I won’t see him all summer and that I’m quite disappointed in the mere fact alone.

Fate is cruel. I’ve spent all year trying to rid my mind of him, but he never leaves. This must be a sign.

I admit it.

It took me the whole year, but I know.

I’m hopelessly in love with Simon Snow, and nothing about it will change until my dying day. I crawl under the covers for the last time this year.

The moon is full tonight, its beams cascading over his tanned skin. I lay in bed, staring at the boy whom I have devoted my life to. The boy that is destined to kill me. The boy who is the Chosen One, and the one who is a complete and utter disaster. I fall asleep, dreaming of his skin pressed against mine, his calloused hands tousled in my hair. I dream of us together, ignoring the raging war outside our doors.


End file.
